Heat of the Moment
by SironaFlett .o.x.o
Summary: Three Part College AU. Dean Winchester helps his younger brother Sam fit into normal college life whilst trying to hide the feelings he is developing for Sam's room-mate, Cas.
1. Part 1

_**Okay, I am slightly new to the SPN fandom, so I do apologise if this is a pile of crap.  
Anyhoo, it comes in three parts, mostly Destiel…  
College AU. **_

_**Enjoy! xx**_

Sam Winchester kicked open the door with a slight grimace and looked around the tiny room. Two beds sat at polar opposites each accompanied by a desk, a chair and a small chest of drawers. One side had already been occupied, a large bedspread and several boxes of stuff sitting around the desk. Sam lugged the box over to the bed that was left and wiped his hands.

"See, this isn't so bad,"

Sam turned a little and saw Dean standing at the doorway with another box. As per usual, Dean wore his biggest smile and looked like an idiot on PCP. Sam had mentioned this to him before, but his older brother found it hilarious and continued to be a dork.

"What isn't so bad?" Sam asked, pulling out a small knife and slicing open the box.

"Your room, genius," Dean replied, dropping the box he was carrying onto the floor and pulling out two beers from it. He cracked open and handed it to Sam. "When I first came to college I had a bed and a crack addict for a roommate."

"Dean, you ended up dating him for a month," Sam replied.

Dean pulled a face. "Touché," He shrugged. He sat down on the bed. "Know anything about this guy?"

"Not much. Apparently he comes from Sacramento and likes soft jazz."

"Yeah, you'll need to kick that out of him," Dean replied, taking a sip of his beer. "You sure you're going to be alright sleeping on this bed?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine,"

"We could easily move his things." Dean offered reaching towards the other bed.

"Dean don't!" Sam ordered calmly and Dean sat back, pouting slightly.

Sam rolled his eyes and began to pile out his copious amount of books. Dean picked one or two of them up, scanning them thoughtfully before putting them to the side.

"You were always the brains of the family," He sighed. "Anyway, proud of you Sammy, but I gotta go make sure my stuff hasn't been stolen."

"Okay, I'll see you later then," Sam said, not looking up from his unpacking.

"So I was thinking we fuchsia pink this place up…" Dean added as he lingered at the door.

Sam threw a cushion at his brother who dodged it just in time as it hit a smaller dark haired kid who was entering the room.

"Sorry man," Dean said, picking up the cushion and throwing it back at Sam. "Pizza and beer tonight? We'll put on some horror crap."

"Get out of here," Sam said rolling his eyes.

"Fine. Bitch."

"Jerk."

"Nice meeting you," Dean said nodding towards the kid and leaving. Sam sighed and outstretched his hand.

"Hey," He said. "Sam Winchester, nice to meet you."

The kid stared at Sam's outstretched hand and Sam retracted after a moment.

"I'm Cas," Said the kid.

"Cas? That's a bit of a strange name…" Sam broke a smile before moving back towards his bed.

"Yeah well my parents were strange people," Cas replied. He sat down on his own bed and clasped his hands. "You don't mind me taking this bed? Do you?"

Sam actually minded a lot. He hated sleeping near the window. He always hated it. It made him feel nervous. When they were kids Dean always slept near the window in case he got frightened. Sam supposed it was due to the fact that when they were younger someone broke into his old room through his window and murdered his mother. But for the sake of courtesy and the fact Dean had told him in the car to suck up any idiosyncrasies that his new roommate may have because like it or not Sam was going to be stuck with him for a year.

Sam nodded stiffly and cleared his throat. "No, it's uh… It's cool. Seriously."

Cas's face broke into a smile before he asked another question. "Was that your friend?"

Sam snorted. "Me and Dean are not friends."

"Boyfriend then?"

Sam almost threw up in his mouth. "Dude no, he's my big brother."

"Oh."

Sam turned. "Why were you asking if he was my boyfriend? You think I'm gay?"

Cas's eyes widened and he shook his head. "I didn't mean to cause offence!" He said.

Sam let out a low sigh. "It's okay, never mind."

"You're from Kansas aren't you?" Cas said trying to change the conversation.

"Yeah," Sam nodded. "Born and raised… Well not so much raised."

"Why? Where were you brought up?"

"Everywhere really," Sam said, pulling out two photo frames and putting them on his desk, staring at the smiling frozen faces. "After my mom died, dad couldn't really settle. We lived out on the road, usually living in motels… The longest stint we did anywhere was at our Uncle Bobby's for three years."

"3 years?"

"Dad wanted to make sure we got into college so he left us with Uncle Bobby to get through our education. Dean was close to graduating anyway so it didn't matter to him. But he got a place and I'm not sure how," Sam explained.

"I'm sorry about your mother," Cas said.

"Nah, it was a long time ago." Sam said, reaching over and closing the window. "What are you studying?"

"Philosophy and Religion," Cas replied. "You?"

"Oh I'm studying law," Sam replied.

"And your brother?"

"He was studying photography…" Sam frowned slightly. "He's now studying Construction Services."

Cas chuckled. "Didn't know that was a major you could take."

"Nah, neither did I." Sam laughed.

There was a silent moment and Sam felt uncomfortable again. He continued to pull things out of his boxes and pile them to the side.

"So your brother is coming back later?" Cas asked.

"Yeah, he wants to make sure that I'm okay. Like I can't take care of myself." Sam chuckled.

"He just wants to look out for you," Cas said sympathetically.

"What about you?"

"What about me what?" Cas frowned.

"Any brothers and sisters?" Sam asked.

"We have a large family. But the only ones I'm really close to aren't really around much. Anna is in England with Balthz, and Gabe is… He went on a bit of a road trip and I haven't heard from him since."

"Sounds tough man,"

"Not as bad as I assume moving around a lot was," Cas replied.

Sam chuckled. "It wasn't so bad. I had Dean. I can't complain."

"You two are close?"

"I suppose. But isn't that how family is meant to be?" Sam asked.

"I don't think as close as that,"

"We come as a package. Sadly." Sam shrugged.

…

"BEER!" Dean opened the door with a huge grin on his face and holding about a weeks' worth of pizza and drink in his arms and carrying what appeared to be the entire saga of Star Wars.

Sam sighed and yanked his brother into the room. "You're an embarrassment Dean," He said.

"I'm your brother boy, it's my job." Dean said, throwing the food and beer onto the bed and pulling off his leather jacket. "So you're Cas? Well I thought you'd be taller,"

Cas got off from his seat and smiled. "You're Dean, I saw you this morning."

Dean's eyes narrowed. "Oh yeah, nerdy little kid. Sammy threw a cushion at you."

"I think he threw the cushion at you," Cas said.

"Nah, Sammy loves me," Dean smirked.

"Dean I thought we were going to watch _Nightmare on Elm Street." _Sam frowned.

"Yeah, then I changed my mind. I want to watch Star Wars," Dean said.

"You're such a nerd," Sam sighed.

"Excuse me Mr Glee Club, Chess Team and Science Group," Dean laughed. "You like Star Wars."

"No I like Star Wars; The Phantom Menace," Sam said.

"Which is why we are watching the good ones, starting with the Empire Strikes Back," Dean said proudly.

"You've tried to make me watch them before, I fell asleep," Sam protested.

"You were ten years old!" Dean replied. "And we were in a motel room sleeping off food poisoning from a crappy diner dad brought us to! This time, no, this time you'll love it,"

"I don't think I've ever seen Star Wars," Cas said as he pulled on a large tan overcoat.

"Woah woah woah woah," Dean said, turning around. "You what?"

"Where you going Cas?" Sam asked.

"Out," Cas replied. "I can see that this is family time and that I am not wanted nor needed. So I'll nip down to the library and read for a while."

Sam opened him mouth to argue but Dean cut across him.

"Wait up, trench coat," He said.

"It's technically an overcoat," Cas said tilting his head.

"Don't care, coat off, you're watching it too,"

"Dean, you're doing it again…" Sam said, bending slightly to whisper in his brother's ear.

"Doing what?" Dean turned and raised an eyebrow.

Sam sighed. "Cas, you might as well stay, Dean is going to make you watch it in any case,"

Cas' eyes darted between the two brothers and suddenly he felt very nervous. "I don't think it's a good idea."

"Oh come off it," Dean said, pulling off his coat for him. "You can't be as gassy as Sammy. If so, then we'll just say we were making fire."

Dean paused and looked around. "Do you guys not have a TV?"

"Er… No." Sam replied.

Dean frowned for a second then pulled on his leather coat and checked if he still had his car keys. "Okay, give me about…" He checked his watch. "Half an hour, don't let the pizzas get cold and don't drink all the beer." And with that he was gone.

Sam shook his head and handed Cas a beer. "Might as well stay. Dean is determined."

"Your brother is slightly strange," Cas said, holding his beer between his fingers. He had never taken a drop before and was worried that he wouldn't like it, but he was scared that Sam and Dean would judge him if he didn't drink along with them. He then wondered why he was so worried about them judging him.

"Yeah," Sam laughed into his own beer. "He overcompensates, I think. He always looks out for people."

"Why?" Cas asked.

Sam shrugged. "Not really sure…"

Cas fell silent and twirled his beer in his hand before taking a sip. He instantly didn't like it, but kept down the bitter liquid.

"Smooth Cas," Sam said. "It takes some time getting used to."

"How long?" Cas asked, feeling embarrassed.

Sam shrugged. "Depends how long you've been drinking it."

"You've drank a lot?"

"One of the perks of being on the road a lot…" Sam replied. He opened a pizza box and sighed. "Typical." He opened the other two and sighed. "Dean's ordered just the huge meat feasts. I hope you're okay with that,"

Cas nodded. "Yeah, that's fine."

With that, Sam picked up a box and handed one to Cas before falling onto his bed and tucking into a pizza. Cas gingerly picked up a slice and nibbled on it before asking. "Shouldn't we wait for your brother?"

"Nah," Sam said burping. "He'll be back soon."

Cas shrugged and got onto his own bed whilst kicking off his shoes. He lay back against his pillows and picked up a slice and this time took a proper bite.

Sam had almost finished his pizza when Dean arrived back at the room a huge TV set in his arms. "SAMMY!"

"Jesus Christ Dean," Sam got off his bed and grabbed one end of the TV and hauled it across the room towards a wall socket.

"Where the hell did you get that?" Cas asked, standing up.

"Pawn shop guy a few streets away owed me one," Dean said. "Like big time."

"Dean we have nowhere to put it. I'm pretty sure we can't hook it up to any sort of cable network and why?"

"It's only for a little while," Dean promised. "Get your laptop."

Sam stared at Dean for a moment as his brother fiddled around with a DVD player he had also brought.

"Sammy!" Dean said.

Cas watched Dean and suddenly felt a need to sit down again. "What are you doing?" He asked.

"Well, if Sammy is so worried about cable and all that…" Dean grabbed the laptop from Sam and began to hook it up to the TV. He tapped away at it for a few minutes before Fox News appeared on the screen.

"Dean!" Sam said.

"It's okay, it's not illegal," Dean said, getting up off the floor.

"Yeah, but I'm pretty sure it can get me and Cas thrown out of college."

"Calm down, would I do that to you and to Cas?" Dean raised an eyebrow. "I mean no offence, you're both nerdy little dorks…" He glanced at Sam's height for a minute reconsidering his sentence but then shook his head. "And you could probably both take down NASA and the Russian Secret Service at a drop of a hat. You don't need college."

"All this, for Star Wars?" Cas asked frowning.

"He's gone to a lot more trouble for a lot less, believe me," Sam said.

"Okay THAT makes me sound like a felon." Dean said pointing.

"He was, he went to juvy hall for about 3 months," Sam said.

"For saving your ass when you decided to go joy-riding," Dean replied.

Cas stared at Dean and Sam for a moment.

"You. Weren't. Going. To. Mention. That." Sam said through gritted teeth.

Dean simply put on a huge grin. "Right, The Empire Strikes Back!"

"I hate you," Sam said shaking his head as Dean climbed onto the bed next to his brother.

"Cassie boy, you too," Dean said, patting the bed. "Get your ass over here."

Sam threw Dean a look as Cas silently moved towards the bed and sat down.

"No need to look so nervous. I'm not going to bite," Dean said, leaning back as the music started. He began to hum along at first quite silently then got louder and more obnoxious.

…

"RISE AND SHINE SAMMY BOY!"

"OH GOOD GOD DEAN WILL YOU PISS OFF!" Sam cried, flinging his pillow over his head.

"I was only bringing you a coffee," Dean said. "Yeesh, plus, its 10:40… Don't you have a class in five minutes?"

"CRAP!" Sam jumped out of bed and pulled a pair of jeans on, tripping over himself. He yanked a shirt from his chest of drawers and pulled it on.

"Shoes are by the TV," Dean sitting down on the bed and pulling his sandwich out of its wrapper.

Sam tripped again and pulled on his shoes. "Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap!"

"Don't worry about it!" Dean cried, his mouth full of meatballs. "Half the students in your class will be sleeping off their hangovers,"

"Yes, but I'm not hung-over," Sam said. "I overslept because YOU made us watch an entire Star Wars marathon last night."

"Correction… WE watched Star Wars last night." Dean said. "Trench Coat is still asleep," He nodded towards Cas.

"Yeah, cool, whatever," Sam said, picking up his bag as he made his way to the door. Dean sighed and held out the extra coffee. After a few minutes Sam came back in and took it from Dean sheepishly before walking off again.

"Remember to be polite to people!" Dean yelled after him. Cas snorted and Dean made a face before getting up.

Cas's eyes flickered open and he let out a scream. Dean turned and screamed too.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" Cas whimpered, pulling his blankets up to his chin.

"I was waking up Sammy, and by the looks of it, I suppose I should have woken you up at the same time," Dean said, his voice cracking.

"Get out!" Cas said.

"I'm going! Wow!" Dean shook his head and darted off giving a grin.

Cas lay there for a moment, his heart thudding against his chest before he rolled over. That Dean kid was strange and it made Cas uncomfortable. He supposed that he'd have to tolerate him whilst he lived with Sam. Unable to fall back asleep, he hauled himself out of bed and went to get changed. The pizza boxes and beer bottles littered the floor and he checked the time.

Swearing loudly, he pulled on whatever clothes he could find before bolting it out the door.

Cas avoided everyone all day. He never spoke and he never raised his hand to offer an opinion. His professor was nice, and the other kids were good and courteous. But he decided not to talk at all. Cas had always been a quiet kid, never really saying as much as he should or wanted to. He hated confrontation beyond anything and had to leave the room when his family fought.

However, the major he had chosen wasn't one he considered important. He came from a highly religious family, but some ideas didn't reflect his.

All he wanted to do was make his family proud and he had no idea how.

These thoughts, oddly enough ran through his head as he stared into his lumpy yoghurt. He was sitting with a group of classmates who invited him out for lunch. All of them were chatting earnestly about the class and how much they were looking forward to the semester.

He looked around and saw Sam walk into the cafeteria, at last, a friendly face.

"I'm going to go… Talk about roommate stuff," Cas said, picking up his tray.

"Sure, we'll see you later," One said. Cas gave a grin and walked off and she tilted her head to her friend.

"Think he's sleeping with Moose Boy over there?"

"If he's not then I definitely want to,"

"Ew, Jess!"

"Is anyone sitting there?" Cas asked, pointing towards the empty seat.

"No go ahead," Sam replied. "I heard that Dean woke you up."

"Yeah," Cas said sheepishly.

"You fell asleep after Attack of the Clones." Sam said. "Dean didn't even acknowledge that there was The Phantom Menace so he left shortly after."

"Right," Cas nodded.

"So, have a girlfriend?" Sam asked, opening a can of Cola.

"No,"

"Boyfriend?"

"I'm not gay,"

"You were pretty damn snuggly next to my brother last night," Sam said, grinning.

"There was no room on that bed," Cas muttered, defending himself.

"If it can fit me onto it, then I think there's enough room," Sam shrugged. "But fair enough, I'm not pushing."

"Is… Is Dean gay?"

"Dean has been openly bisexual since he was…" Sam mentally counted. "17? I think… Dad wasn't too pleased." He paused. "That… Doesn't bother you, does it?"

Cas shook his head. "Not particularly. Be back in a minute, I'm going to get some pudding."

Sam nodded as Cas got up and moved to the back of the line, pulling out his dining card.

"Classic rookie mistake,"

Cas turned and saw, once again, Dean Winchester.

"Are you following me or something?" Cas asked.

Dean made a face. "I'm not allowed to get lunch?" He grabbed a tray. "What are you wanting?"

"Just some pudding," Cas said.

"Right." Dean grabbed a couple of sandwiches and stowed them into his pockets and picked up a pudding, putting it on the tray before adding other items. "Always get as much as you can from one lunch," He explained. "It still mean's one hole punch. You can save most of it for later dates and it also means that your folks aren't paying out as much when the bill comes."

"Which means more money for you to spend," Cas said, clicking the idea together. "Dean, it's not right."

"No, it's not right that they can charge anything up to 6 dollars for a sandwich," Dean said. "Trust me, all the students do it."

Cas pursed his lips before gathering some other items he thought he could keep for a few days. Dean pulled out his own punch card and handed it to the cashier who clipped it and sent them off.

"Don't they teach you anything in school anymore?" Dean tsked, sitting down opposite Sam. "Sammy, your roommate doesn't know how to use punch cards. Tell me you at least do."

Sam grinned and opened his rucksack that was sitting on an empty chair. Dean looked into it for a second and grinned.

"That's my boy." Dean said. "Okay, I have to go, I will see you whenever."

"Yeah, see you Dean," Sam said.

Dean gave a two finger salute before walking off.

"Goodbye Dean," Cas said, his voice getting caught.


	2. Part 2

_**God this was supposed to be happy and fun.**_

_**Sorry, I was in an angsty humour…**_

"_IT WAS THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT! TELLING ME WHAT YOUR HEART MEANT. THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT SHOWED IN YOUR EYES!"_

"Christ alive," Cas muttered as he woke. Sam moved around the room, pulling on some clothes. After about 3 months, he reckoned he should have gotten used to this, but Sam was persistent with new nuisances that drove him up the wall. Everything from classic rock every day, all day, to poorly kept sleeping hours, odd exercise training, a need to buy a lot of hair products and his mess.

God the mess alone made Cas want to curl up and cry. He made Sam dedicate entire days to cleaning so that they wouldn't get kicked out of the dorm. If this was what Sam was like, then he hated to think what the rest of his family was like.

Oh, and Sam was indeed, like Dean had said, gassy to the point of intoxication. Cas would often need to air out the room every couple of days.

But Sam was probably the best roommate he had ever could have been gifted. Often Sam was the one to come home with fast food and beer – to which Cas had grown accustomed to at last – and would often pick out movies that were considered cult classics.

Because of the size of his family, they never really had time to indulge in the pleasures of life; staying up to 4am in the morning, yelling at the TV whilst watching bad B-Rated horror movies may of at the time Cas was 14 seemed like an absurd notion. Cas revelled in every moment.

Cas had also become particularly fond of Dean's visits. Dean would often lighten the room to the point where Cas felt like a part of the family.

So Dean was another reason to like Sam.

"Rise and shine Cas," He said brightly.

"What is that crap you are listening to?"

"What?" Sam raised an eyebrow and turned around. "Oh, that, music that we used to listen to on the road. Dean is a lot worse. He listens to the same five albums constantly."

"Oh God," Cas rolled over.

"Wow, you're grumpy in the morning," Sam said. "Oh, I have a date tonight so I won't be in."

"Who with?"

"What?" Sam asked, looking up from tying his shoe.

"Who with?" Cas repeated rolling back over.

"Oh this girl Jess. You probably know her. She's doing religious studies," Sam cleared his throat.

Cas smiled vaguely. "Yeah I know her."

"Do you have class today?"

Cas actually didn't know. He crawled slightly out of his bed and pulled his timetable from his jeans. He squinted then gave a smile. "Apparently not," He rolled over and sighed.

"Alright man, don't get too drunk." Sam said. "I'll see you later,"

"Yeah, see you," Cas said.

Dean was waiting for Sam outside the doors with the usual coffee and donut. He handed them to his brother before beginning to head in the other direction towards his car. Sam sighed and looked at his ugly donut in disgust.

"OI! DEAN!" He shouted.

Dean turned. "Yup?"

"You go to crappy donut stalls!" Sam shouted.

"I love you too Sammy!" Dean waved as he got into his car and started it up.

"Asshole," Sam muttered. "Oh shit," He began to chase after Dean and the car pulled to a stop.

"What?" Dean asked, poking his head out of the window.

"I've got a date tonight and-"

"THAT'S MY BOY!" Dean grinned stupidly. "What's her name?"

"Doesn't matter," Sam said. "Probably won't turn into anything, but I'm worried about Cas. He's a lonely guy and he might need some company during the night…"

"Sam, do you want me to baby-sit Trench Coat?" Dean asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Just for a while," Sam said.

"Dude," Dean pulled a face. "I don't think the kid likes me."

"Well, make him like you."

"Doesn't he have any other friends?" Dean asked. Sam gave Dean a look and his brother sighed, falling back into the leather chair of his car. "FINE! I'll do it!"

"Oh, and I'm telling you now, do NOT hook up with him! It's bad enough you hooked up with my old friend Ben."

"Dude that was three years ago,"

"Dude," Sam mocked. "I don't care. He's my roommate, and you're my brother. I don't want anything to be awkward between us when you break up."

"You say that like I'd flake on him." Dean said, narrowing his eyes.

"Well…"

"Oh that's mean," Dean sighed.

"I'm just saying. You don't have the healthiest of relationships. You're either all over them, or you date them for a while and then hate them for all eternity,"

"Well eternity is a bit harsh. I wouldn't say that."

"You said you'd hate, Hanna Johnson, Greg Philips, Tasha Kingly, Laura Benson and Rhonda Hurly for the rest of eternity when you broke up with them,"

"Okay are we done with the feelings crap, can I go?" Dean asked getting annoyed.

"Just behave tonight, okay?" Sam asked.

"Yeah whatever," Dean muttered.

"Okay, see you later then,"

Dean rolled his eyes and changed gears and drove off. Sam watched and instantly regretted what he said. He knew Dean had a lot of trouble finding people who he liked and people that seemed to understand his strange behaviour. He also knew that Dean had a lot of issues dealing with his sexuality. Not because he had a problem with it, but because everyone else seemed to.

And that was difficult to watch.

Sam sighed and bit into his donut before making his way to class.

…

"You bailed." Sam said angrily.

Dean glanced up from his beer and let out a groan. "And with that, I'm done for the evening," He pulled out his wallet and was beginning to pull some money out but Sam stopped him, ordering himself a cola.

"You said you would go," Sam said.

"Dude, it's not my responsibility to look after your friends," Dean muttered.

"I asked you just to look out for him," He replied.

Dean sighed. He was not in the mood to be harassed about something he didn't do. He grabbed the peanuts from the basket and began to ping them around the bar, growing annoyed with his younger brother. "It's not my responsibility to look after Trench Coat while you sleep with every girl on campus," He said.

"Stop calling him that," Sam said.

"It's his name," Dean replied.

"Dude, what's wrong with you?"

"Look, Sammy, I get that I pretty much fall under the caregiver category of personality, but that's no reason for me to stop living my own life."

Sam fell silent for a moment and scratched his chin. "Are you attracted to him?" He asked.

"NO!" Dean barked. He pursed his lips and looked away.

"You are, aren't you?" Sam sat back and shook his head.

"Relax, I'm not going to try anything," Dean muttered into his beer. "You made it quite clear that I screw up every relationship that I have. So it's best I just avoid him altogether."

"Thank you," Sam said.

"F.Y.I, you're a dick,"

"And you're a jerk." Sam replied.

"Bitch."

"Oh, we are not starting that again,"

Dean fell silent and turned his now empty bottle in his hands a small flicker in his smile. He looked exhausted, a lot more so than Sam had seen him last.

"How many beers have you had?" He asked quietly.

"Not enough," Dean replied, motioning the barman with his hand.

Sam fell silent. At times, he really hated Dean. Up to the point where anything Dean said or did, he disagreed with completely. Other times, he worried more for Dean's safety because whilst Dean was too busy taking care of everyone else, he neglected himself to the point on more than one occasion he fell ill.

"Quit looking at me like that Sammy," Dean muttered finishing off another bottle.

"Okay, I think you've had enough," Sam said. "Where are your keys? I'm driving you home."

"Fuck off," Dean muttered. "I can still drive." He got up and stumbled slightly as he fumbled for his car keys, once finding them, he presented them proudly to his little brother who promptly snatched them from his hand. Sam then hauled his brother up, knowing full well that Dean had probably drank too much since he was usually well adapted in holding his liquor. "Seriously fuck off." Dean said.

"That's not happening," Sam replied haughtily. "You're drunk."

"Yeah and your tall," Dean replied. He straightened himself up and walked calmly out of the bar, stumbling now and then on his feet. "And annoying,"

They stepped out into the cool air and Dean folded over himself, vomiting onto the pavement. He let out a groan and spat out the rest. Sam rubbed his back carefully.

"You alright?"

"No, I think the beer was laced with something,"

"What?"

"Rat poison, what do you think?" Dean barked.

"You okay to move?"

"Yeah," Dean wiped his mouth with his sleeve and shook it off. "Remember that time Sammy when you got so hammered you took off your pants in the middle of the street? Or the time you mistook a guy for a chick and made out with them?"

"Yeah, well there's a reason why they don't let under 21's drink," Sam said, tapping at his cell phone. He put it to his ear and waited for a moment as Dean fell against a wall.

"What are you doing?" Dean snapped.

"Calling Cas,"

"What? Why? Fucks sake Sammy,"

"Look, you're too drunk to be left on your own tonight. I'm just asking him to get a bed ready or something," Sam replied.

Dean launched towards Sam but missed. Sam grabbed him by the arm and held him steady. "Hey, Cas. I need you to get my bed ready… No I'm not taking home a woman… Nor a male – Cas, listen, Dean's been drinking, a lot and he needs to be looked after tonight… No, I'm not saying you have to leave. Actually it would be better if you stayed… Why not?... Look either tell me a reason why you don't want to be there or – Okay, thank you! I'll see you in about 15 minutes." Sam hung up and turned to Dean who had taken to sitting down on the ground, his head against the wall and his breath catching in the cold air.

"Cas doesn't like me very much does he?" Dean murmured. Sam kneeled down next to his brother and grasped his shoulder tightly.

Sam sighed. "Come on, where are you parked?"

Dean cleared his throat and held out his hand. "Keys," He muttered.

"No."

"Give me the keys dammit!"

"No," Sam responded.

Dean took a swing for him and missed, punching the ground painfully. "FUCK!"

Sam pulled him up and walked him over to his car, shoving him into the backseat and getting into the front. He fired it up and the radio began to blare out some obnoxious heavy metal tune. Sam slammed it off and started the guzzling engine. "I hate this car," He muttered.

"Don't say anything about my baby," Dean muttered.

Sam ignored him and pulled out, turning out onto the road and making his way down to the college campus.

"Sammy,"

"Mm?"

"I'm sorry I'm such a shit brother,"

"I'm not doing this Dean." Sam said

"But I am, on both counts."

Sam shook his head and waited for a light to change. He turned a corner and drove silently up towards the college halls. Cas was outside, lazily dressed, as if he had just gotten out of bed and pulled on whatever he could find. He wore his large overcoat and his jeans were upturned at the bottom.

Sam got out of the car, tossing the keys between his hands. "Hey, you didn't need to come down." He said.

Cas gave a shrug. There was a slam of a car door and Sam looked around to see Dean making his way towards them.

"Hey," He said, acknowledging Cas.

Cas gave a small smile as Sam pulled Dean's arm around his shoulder. This was no mean feat, since Sam was about the size of the Chrysler building plus another 3 feet. Dean ended up on his tip toes and looking angry.

"Will you fuck off?" He snapped, taking his hand away from his brother. "I'm fine, see? Look, completely fine." He managed to walk a few feet before stumbling. Cas and Sam rushed to his side and pulled him up as he swore and cursed. Cas yanked off his jacket and flung it over Dean's shoulders.

"Come on you big lump," Sam said.

Dean slowly followed Cas up the flight of stairs towards Sam's room, his brother holding onto his arm. Cas opened the door and pulled back the blankets from Sam's bed and Dean fell against it. He put a hand to his face and Sam quickly pulled Dean's ring off, for fear of it being lost.

"I'm going to go fetch a bucket," He said, pocketing the ring. "In case he's sick again."

"I'm not going to be sick again," Dean murmured, kicking off his boots. "Don't mother me Sam!"

Sam again ignored him and tapped Cas' shoulder before taking off to find a bucket.

Cas suddenly felt very nervous. He sat down on his bed and clasped his hands, watching Dean curiously. "I thought you were well adjusted to alcohol."

"Even the most accomplished drinkers can have bad days," Dean groaned. Cas gave a wonky smile and Dean frowned. "What are you grinning at?"

Cas shook his head. "Nothing,"

Dean fell back against the bed, closing his eyes gently. "I didn't even set out to get drunk." He said softly. "I just…" He stared at Cas for a second and shook his head. "Sorry man,"

Cas shook his head with an air of nonchalance. "It's okay,"

"Suppose you hate me more than usual." Dean chuckled. "Well don't blame you."

Cas stared at Dean, his lips parting and closing, processing what the drunken man had said. He frowned. "You think I hate you?"

Dean looked over, squinting.

Cas sighed. "Dean, I don't hate you."

Dean made to move and sit up but instantly regretted it. He hovered for a moment, trying to decide what to do with himself before falling again on the bed.

Cas took a deep breath and began to say what he had been thinking for a while now. "Actually, I like you a lot. You're funny, you make me smile. Especially if I had a bad day. Usually you're always there for Sam. And it makes me slightly jealous that he gets all of your attention."

Dean's eyes narrowed. Cas got up and moved towards Dean, kneeling down so that they were inches away from each other.

"I get that he's your brother and that…" Cas admitted. "But I am jealous."

Dean reached out and carefully touched Cas' face. Cas smiled gently before letting his own hand fall on Dean's keeping it close to his cheek. Dean gave a tiny smile, letting out a shudder. "I like you too. Probably more than I want to admit…" Cas smiled, this time the corners of his eyes lightened up. Dean grinned too but his eyes drooped gently and then he was asleep.

Cas pursed his lips, saddened slightly but pulled the blanket around Dean as much as he could. He then sat down opposite and listened to his heart thud against his chest and ring in his ears.

Sam came back a while later and put the bucket down near Dean. He sat on the edge of the bed and watched his brother sleep for a moment.

"Thanks Cas," He said, smiling.

Cas nodded stiffly.

Sam sighed. "This isn't the first time Dean's gone out on a bender."

Cas raised his eyebrows, his lips forming a soft "O" shape.

"No um… When he came out, obviously he wasn't bothered by it, he was happy with himself… Thing is, other people weren't happy. Dad wasn't of course and Dean always fought to get Dad's approval. Dean went out to Uncle Bobby's and pretty much drank everything he saw. He landed in hospital for about a week."

"What spurred it this time?" Cas asked.

Sam shrugged. "He has a lot of shit to work through. He'll be fine though."

"He always seems so happy though," Cas said.

"Exactly," Sam replied. "And he hates people seeing him any differently… You're welcome to go to sleep. I'll make sure he doesn't die in his sleep."

"No, I'll stay up." Cas promised.

Sam smiled. "Thanks man,"

Cas nodded. "Movie?"

"Yeah,"

…

Dean let out a groan and rolled over, nearly falling off the bed. He frowned, and looked around, squinting at the familiar but not so much surroundings. He let out a groan and put his hand to his head. He found his arms wrapped up in a long brown trench coat and he pulled it off.

"Are you alright?"

Dean blinked and nodded, seeing his brother's roommate standing to the side. "Yeah, I'm good. You wouldn't happen to have an aspirin would you?"

There was a rattling of a pill bottle and Cas held it out to Dean. "Sam left them this morning."

Dean sat up and popped two out, swallowing them dry. "Where is Sammy boy anyway?"

"He had to go to class," Cas replied. "What do you remember of last night?"

He shook his head and pressed his palm against his temple. "Not a lot," He grumbled. "Where's my ring?"

Cas reached into his pocket and handed it to Dean who slipped it onto his finger, muttering thanks as he did so. Dean cleared his throat and rubbed his knees. "Sorry about… Last night. That was fucking… Stupid."

"No it's okay."

"If I said anything to you, know that I don't mean it." Dean continued.

Cas looked at him with dour eyes. "Oh." He said.

"Unless…" Dean pursed his lips. "Unless I said that I liked you and…" He cleared his throat. "Um, never mind." He found his shoes and yanked them on. "Shouldn't say anything, never mind, doesn't matter."

Cas saw no other opportunity. He bent down and gently kissed Dean. Dean's breath was caught for a moment and he kissed back. His hand reached around, grasping Cas by the back of the neck, pulling him closer. Cas pulled away and laughed.

"You need a breath mint," He said.

Dean frowned and blew on his hand before sniffing it. He retracted it. "Oh fuck that's embarrassing," He said.

Cas moved closer and kissed him again before shaking his head. "Yeah, you definitely need a mint of some kind. "

Dean cleared his throat and nodded. "I should go…"

"No…" Cas said. "I…" He paused. "Maybe you should. You had a rough night last night."

"Yeah," Dean nodded. "Do you know where Sam put my keys?"

…

Dean leaned against the steaming hot tiles as the shower water battered down his back. He had his eyes closed and singing along to the tune that was in his head. He had been in there for over half an hour and his skin was pruning. The water made him feel like he was washing away everything bad that he had done in his life. Not even the really bad things, just things he regretted. Things he wished had turned out better, or if he made the better choice would have turned out so.

There was a rustling outside the cubicle and Dean yelled over ; "S'ok man, I'm almost done. You'll get the place to yourself in a moment." Dean hated public showers. But he wasn't willing to go back to his own room because he knew that his roommate would give him a bollocking and a half.

He stood for another moment, waiting for the other guy to make some notion that he was okay with Dean taking another few minutes.

"Dean?" asked a familiar voice.

Dean frowned and looked out of the cubicle to see Cas standing in front of him. "Cas? What's up?"

"Nothing, I just didn't know you'd still be here." Cas said.

"I'm just going." Dean said, turning the shower off and wrapping a towel around his waist. "Enjoy."

"Dean…"

"Yeah?" Dean asked, gathering up his clothes.

Cas stood open mouthed for a moment then shook his head, pulling off his sweater vest and shirt. Dean watched and then blinked, feeling bad.

"I'll… We'll talk later…" He said. "Go out and get something to eat or see a movie,"

Cas nodded as he pulled off his jeans and Dean suddenly got flustered. He cleared his throat and began to leave. He stopped at the door and shook his head. "Ah screw it." He said, throwing his clothes to one side. He made his way back to the shower and pulled apart the curtains.

"I thought you'd never come back," Cas said.

"Shut up," Dean said, taking Cas by the shoulders and pushing him against the wall. Their lips locked and their bodies pressed up against each other. Cas ran his fingers through Dean's hair, curving down his neck and back. Dean yanked Cas up, locking the younger boys legs around his waist and kissed his neck, moving across his torso.

"Wait no… Stop," Cas said, pushing him away and finding his feet again.

Dean blinked and moved away. "Sorry. I…" He looked away. "What's wrong?"

"I can't do this," Cas said.

"Can't do what?" Dean asked.

Cas shook his head and grabbed his clothes.

"CAS!" Dean bellowed. "Cas! Please!"

Cas had already gone.

Dean stared blankly for a moment then slammed his fist against the tiles. "FUCK!" He bellowed.


	3. Part 3

_**I am so bad with updates. I say I'm going to publish something in 3 parts over a weekend or whatever, but hence this goes un-updated for about a month and a half… I apologise profusely. **_

_**Also, writing smut is hard… No pun intended.**_

Cas avoided Dean pretty much all week. This was no mean feat since Sam and Dean would regularly spend night's together, drinking beer and watching movies. So Cas took to the library most of the time. He knew that this wouldn't be a permanent solution, but he felt like it was the only thing he could do until Dean got the hint.

He wasn't even sure why he was running. Dean was a good thing, probably one of the better things to happen to him.

Sam had asked him why he had been avoiding his older brother. Cas didn't have the heart to explain why, however, he was thankful that Dean hadn't admitted it to Sam. He wasn't ready to deal with that conversation with his roommate yet.

One evening, about a week and a half after the incident in the shower, Cas was feeling under the weather. He had felt the beginnings of a headache in one of his afternoon lectures, but had ignored it. His concentration had dipped from thereon in and he couldn't continue with his studies.

Begrudgingly, he tidied up his workspace before moving along to the student accommodation, where he feared Sam and Dean would be spending their time.

He got to the door of his room and quietly opened it, praying for just a single solitary person to be there. Unfortunately, that's not how things work out.

Dean and Sam were sitting in front of the TV yelling at the contestants of a particularly bad game show. Dean had shown a knack for knowing a lot of pop culture references whilst Sam always managed to get general knowledge.

At the sound of the door closing, Dean and Sam looked around and Dean quickly averted his gaze, downing his bottle of beer in one.

"Hey, Cas, I thought you were studying," Sam said, scratching the top of his head.

Cas gingerly put down his books, pursing his lips and avoiding looking anywhere near Dean. "I was." He said. "I just decided to finish early."

"Oh."

There was a moment of prolonged silence and then Sam switched off the TV set. "Right, that's it. I can't deal with it anymore. You two are going to talk through whatever bat-crap issues you have with each other and I am going to go out and get drunk." With that he got up and grabbed his coat, flinging it on. Cas moved to try and stop him but backed off as he remembered their height difference. Sam slammed the door behind him and silence again filled the room.

Dean rubbed his knees and put his beer on the floor before getting up, avoiding Cas' gaze completely.

"Dean, I-"

"Save it." Dean said, still not looking at him. He licked his lips and stared at the ground, putting his hands on his hips. He shook his head and finally looked up. "Do you have any idea what you did to me? How embarrassed and stupid I felt?" He let out a laugh of disbelief and shook his head again. "It fucking hurt Cas. And I don't even know why. I don't get hurt by rejection. I just want to know why you ran off, and you didn't even provide an explanation. I've ran it through in my head about a hundred different times and I can't figure out a reason." He paused for breath and a small tear trickled from his eye. "Well? Go on."

Cas lost his voice. He looked away pointedly. Dean let out a laugh.

"You are fucking asshole," He informed him. "I'm leaving," He grabbed his coat and yanked it on moving towards the door.

"Dean," Cas said. "I…"

Dean stopped and narrowed his eyes. He said nothing as he moved once again towards the door.

"I got confused," Cas finally admitted.

Dean stopped again, his hand on the door handle. He didn't dare look around.

"I got confused because… Well I'm not gay. I've never been gay. And, I'm confused because I have genuine feelings for you. But I can't…" Cas breathed. He closed his eyes. "And I'm scared. I'm so scared about it all. I shouldn't feel this way. It's not right. It's not…"

"Not what? Natural?" Dean asked. "Then what the fuck do you think I am? Am I not natural?"

Cas tilted his head. Dean was more than natural. Dean was pure undeniable love and care. He was light and happiness but not without his darkness. Cas couldn't think of a more natural being.

"No, Dean," He said sniffing as he realised tears were rolling down his own cheeks. Dean paused, Cas was hurting. Instantly he felt guilty. Guilty for evening opening his mouth and letting him hurt Cas. "I meant… I don't know."

Cas moved towards him. "If you want to leave, you can. I just don't want this horrible thing between us."

"What horrible thing? The 'I love you' horrible thing, or the 'I hate you,' horrible thing?" Dean asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"The hate one," Cas said solemnly, playing with his fingers and looking down at his feet so Dean wouldn't see him as weak.

"I could never hate you Cas." Dean said after a beat.

Cas glanced up.

"I just don't know if I can love you," Dean continued.

Cas' knees buckled and he sat on the bed. His fingers knotted against the sheets. He nodded stiffly. "I understand." He whispered.

There was a jingle of keys and a slam of the door. Cas felt his heart drop through his stomach. Without kicking off his shoes, he rolled onto his bed, cradling his shaking body. Unable to cry and unable to move.

Sam must have come home a few hours later. Cas was still awake.

"How'd it go?" Sam asked. Cas didn't answer. Sam tried again. "Cas? You okay?"

Again, Cas felt no obligation to answer Dean's younger brother. There was nothing he could say that Dean wouldn't tell Sam himself. Sam sighed, and kicked off his shoes, rolling into his own bed and falling asleep almost instantly. Cas lay there, going over what he had said like it was a bad playlist. Unable to change the song and unable to do anything about it, Cas finally fell asleep in the early hours of the morning.

…

"Are you ever going to talk again?" Sam asked, handing Cas a coffee.

Cas blinked and looked up at Sam confused, his eyes burrowed in thought.

"I can see not," Sam sighed, sitting back down on his bed. "What happened last night?"

Cas took a sip of his coffee and shrugged. "Hasn't Dean told you?"

"Dean is about as open as the secrets of the universe," Sam said. "You would think nearly 18 years of living with him, I'd be able to tell what's going on in that funny little brain of his, but sadly this is not the case." Sam paused and pursed his lips. "But I do know that Dean isn't the type to work through his feelings. Nor come to me for help. He gives so much and I'm only saying this because I want to help him, like he helps me."

Cas knotted his fingers together.

"Whatever man," Sam said, finishing the last of his coffee. "Are you going home for Christmas?"

Cas pursed his lips. "No… I don't think I am."

"Yeah, well, Dean and I have really nowhere to go either." Sam said sighing. "But his stupid roommate is leaving for the break, so I'll be staying with him."

"Oh." Cas scratched his forehead. "Right."

Sam let out a huffy sigh. "Will you two please sort out whatever is going on between you, please? Jesus Christ, I want to be able to spend Christmas with my best friend and my brother and not have this fucking crap go on between you both."

Cas' jaw tightened. "I'm sorry Sam."

"Screw it," Sam said. "I might spend Christmas with Jess… I'm going to class."

"Sam…" Cas got up and practically followed Sam to the door. Sam looked around as he pulled on his coat.

"What?"

"I'm sorry, I'll fix this." Cas promised.

"Mmhm," Sam nodded. "Okay, and when that fails, how bad is it going to be to have you still in the same room? Don't make these kind of promises that you obviously don't intend to keep." He paused and sighed. "I'm sorry Cas, but when it comes down to it, the entire crux of the whole matter, I will choose my brother's happiness over yours."

"I understand that," Cas said.

"Then dude, please, just work something out so that you two are able to sit in the same room together." Sam said. "Besides, I have stuff of my own to deal with."

"I never implied that you didn't," Cas said.

"Whatever man," Sam said, leaving. He nipped his head through the door again. "Oh and I have work tonight and won't finish till about half eight, so I'll grab a Chinese takeaway on the way home."

Cas nodded. "Remember, half portions for me,"

"Like I could forget," Sam replied, closing the door behind him.

Cas sat down on his bed and processed calmly what Sam had said to him. He was right, of course. This sort of thing couldn't continue. He couldn't have Dean constantly angry with him. He wanted to fix it. With that thought in mind, he pulled on his over coat and grabbed his keys before making it out of the halls.

He had only visited Dean's place once or twice before, and that was before this entire mess started. Often just to give stuff he had left behind at their place, or to pay him back for the copious amounts of pizza and beer that he always brought with him.

Dean owned his own place though, just a few blocks down from the campus. He shared it with a roommate who also attended college, but from what Cas could work out, was not the best person to live with.

As he walked there, Cas tried to work out in his head what he would say to Dean, what kind of apology he could muster, and how they could strike a deal that was okay for both of them and at the same time they could keep Sam happy. Cas also knew that if Dean was given the choice, he would pick Sam over him any day. And that caused his entire muscles to ache with jealously. He just wanted Dean to understand where he was coming from, but the son of a bitch was too wrapped up in his own little world to see it. To see that Cas was so conflicted with his feelings towards Dean and to see that it was hurting him just as much.

As Cas approached the apartment block, he looked up and realised that he couldn't, or didn't want to go through it all again, with fear that something worse might happen this time around. He stood huddled in the cold before biting at his fear and making his way inside.

The stairs smelt as they usually did; of urine and stale alcohol, grimy walls and a railing that would cause Tuberculosis from just looking at it. Cas made his way upstairs silently, knowing that if he took the elevator he could get stuck or trod in something that wasn't actually human.

Dean's flat was situated on the third floor with an angry Romanian couple opposite who were either always arguing or always having sex. Today was obviously a day where they had been arguing because the boyfriend was outside having a cigarette cursing at her silently. He nodded towards Cas and offered him a cigarette, Cas kindly declining before knocking on the door.

It creaked open and Dean's flatmate leered out. "Oh, it's you," He said. "Dean!"

Dean opened the door and stared at Cas as his roommate made his way back into the flat. There was a crash and Dean turned bellowing; "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU BREAK NOW?!"

"Calm your fucking tits man, I didn't break a goddamn thing, your fucking lamp was in the way,"

"It was on the fucking coffee table you asshole," Dean replied.

"I'll pay for a new one,"

"That's what you said about the TV as well," Dean muttered. He turned to Cas and frowned. "What do you want?"

"I want to… I want to talk." Cas said, clearing his throat.

Dean sighed and closed the door behind him. "Hey Mr Gregor, could you give us some privacy?" He asked, looking over at his neighbour who shook his head and pointed at his door behind which Cas and Dean could hear her swear and curse his name.

"I guess not," Dean said. "Fine. Come on." He checked his pockets before reaching back into his flat and grabbing his coat, then without even glancing towards Cas he began to make his way down the stairs.

"Your roommate seems to be causing you more grief than usual," Cas said.

"Well done genius," Dean grunted. "He was smoking dope about an hour ago and hasn't crashed yet. So that'll be fun."

"How have you been?" Cas asked.

Dean turned, his eyes glazing over Cas before shaking his head. "I've been better. You?"

"I would say the same,"

"Sammy sent you here didn't he?" Dean asked, opening the door and stepping out into the blistering cold.

"Partly," Cas said.

He narrowed his eyes. "Sure. Okay, whatever you say man." He cleared his throat and walked over to his parked car. "Get in," He ordered. Cas obliged, getting into the passenger's seat, his hands tight together. Dean started up the car, putting it in gear and hitting the main road. He didn't want there to be a scene, especially on a street that people casually walked by, sticking their noses into business that wasn't their own. They sat in silence as Dean pulled the car up to a tiny deserted car park outside a school, a few blocks away. He parked it and switched the radiator on sighing deeply.

"Okay. Talk." He said.

Cas cleared his throat. "I just want to apologise for everything that I put you through. It wasn't fair."

"No it wasn't." Dean said.

"I led you on, and I feel terrible about it."

"You should."

"And I wouldn't be surprised if you never spoke to me again."

For this, Dean was silent. He turned his head slightly and his lips made a soft 'O' shape then he looked away again. "Right."

Cas blinked, staring at Dean intently.

"Jesus Christ Cas," Dean said. "Who cares if you're gay, straight, asexual, bisexual or whatever the fuck you want to be." He sighed and leaned back running his fingers through his hair. "I just thought that there would be a part of you that didn't care, so long as you were with a person who made you happy. Who made you feel good to be alive. And I'm not just referring to myself here, even if we don't do anything; you've got to sort yourself out for any future partners that you might have."

Cas didn't say anything. He doubted that he would feel this way about another man, let alone someone who wasn't Dean.

"Okay, talk to me," Dean said. "Commitment issues? Had a girlfriend but lost her? What? Talk to me."

Cas licked his lips. "I've always been sure of who I was." He said. "Straight, from a large, quite religious family, and uncomplicated…Then…"

"Then I show up." Dean chuckled. "Can't deny it, I'm adorable."

"Cut the crap Dean," Cas said. "I see straight through it,"

Dean's smile faded quickly, he glanced down at his knees and cleared his throat. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Cas spoke again.

"My full name isn't just Cas," He said tiredly.

"Oh?" Dean raised an eyebrow.

"It's Castiel."

"Sounds like a brand of soap,"

Cas threw his head back and laughed. "It does, doesn't it? Mum and dad thought they were having a girl, they wanted to call me 'Cassie' but of course I wasn't quite what they had in mind. Pressured for names they called me Castiel instead. Cas was used to stop the bullying."

"Well if it's any consolation, I like Castiel." Dean said.

"You'd be the only one," Cas rubbed his knees and leaned back, his head hitting the seat softly. "What now?"

Dean sighed. "I don't know." He half smiled before shaking his head. "A few years ago, there was this guy, and I… Well I didn't know I was bisexual at the time. And he made me feel so confused and so angry. And I couldn't deal with him. I couldn't go around acting like I wasn't attracted. I think it would have hurt less if he was more accepting, but he found out and he called me a freak, made me feel worse than I already did. So I know how confused and angry and whatever you are feeling right now. Probably more so than you think,"

"I don't think you know how I feel." Cas muttered, twisting his fingers, he looked up at Dean, his eyebrows upturned and his eyes shining.

"Hey come on man," Dean said. "Don't mess with me. Not again."

"I'm so sorry Dean." Cas said, his hands reached over to Dean's and he grasped them tightly. "I was just scared. Dean stared at his hands as Cas held them, he turned himself so that he was facing the other boy and gently tucked his hand under Cas' chin. Stroking it silently, he leaned forward and kissed him gently. Cas kissed back. Their lips parted and they smiled at each other. Dean moved closer, his arms wrapping around Cas' waist. Cas bit down on Dean's bottom lip, their eyes flickering open.

"Are you okay with this?" Dean asked.

Cas nodded gingerly. "Yeah. Yeah I am."

"Then we have to move to the back, otherwise this is going to get uncomfortable." Dean said.

Cas' eyes widened, they were going to have sex now? He only just admitted his feelings for Dean. Then again, Cas had never felt more turned on. Perhaps it wouldn't be a bad idea. Dean had moved to the back seat, leaning up against the window. As Cas moved to join him, he unbuttoned his shirt. He lay on the back seat and waited for Dean.

"Just, stop me if you don't want to go any further," Dean said. "I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to do." Cas bit his lips and nodded stiffly and Dean tilted his head. "You are okay with this, aren't you?"

Cas smiled and nodded. "Yeah, sorry, I just… No, I want this," He continued to nod.

Dean grinned and leaned forward, his hand moving across Cas' neck down his chest and towards his belt buckle. There was a clang of metal and Cas felt Dean's hand reach down and tug at his penis. He groaned and fell back against the leather upholstery. Dean lowered himself and pressed his lips against the head of Cas' cock and licked it, then with a little pressure, he began to move his mouth up and down. Cas bit down on his tongue trying to stop himself from moaning out in pleasure.

Dean began to pick up the pace, moving back and forward, he reached with his hand and tugged at Cas' balls and Cas fell back. "Fuck," He murmured through gritted teeth. Dean looked up, letting go of Cas' cock, moving closer to him but still holding it in his hand. With gentle but sturdy force he began to tug and move his hand up and down.

Cas groaned again and pulled Dean towards him, kissing him passionately and giving one last tug, just to make sure that he was fully turned on. Dean gave a lopsided grin before slowly unbuckling his own belt and pulling down his jeans. He gently rubbed Cas' balls, his hands stretching down to Cas' ass. He felt the opening with some trepidation.

"Sh," Dean muttered. "Relax," He leaned down and put his tongue against the opening, licking. Cas felt himself tightening up and Dean looked up again. "Cas, you need to relax, otherwise it's gonna hurt like a bitch,"

Cas pursed his lips, his body still recuperating from Dean's impressive blowjob. He leaned back and let Dean continue. Once Dean was finished licking, he gently took two fingers and massaged Cas' anus. He circled it and Cas groaned, touching his own hard cock.

"Easy Trench Coat," Dean said softly. "I haven't even started yet." He inserted another finger and continued to flex. There was a tear of a condom packet opening and Dean leaned back away from Cas for a moment. Cas closed his eyes and then felt a sharp pain, he gasped out but was met by the force of Dean kissing him. He broke apart, breathing deeply. "I told you to relax."

Cas took in a deep breath and closed his eyes, feeling Dean's cock push into him. Dean let out a groan and fell onto Cas and then began to move up and down, slow at first as he kissed Cas' neck and chest. Dean got faster and forgot to kiss, groaning out in pleasure.

"Fuck," Cas moaned as Dean pushed harder and harder into him going faster. Dean slowed down muttering swears and curses. "Keep going," Cas said, trying to catch his breath, he grabbed his cock and yanked at it aggressively, holding tightly as he felt himself coming.

Dean was growing red as he began to speed up again, anticipating his orgasm. Cas arched the back of his head and then felt a huge sense of relief wash over him. He looked down and saw the white come over his torso and hipbones. Dean let out a final last groan and then began to shake gently. He was panting and fell onto Cas, kissing him gently. He lifted himself out and Cas sat up, Dean resting in his arms.

Because of the little space the back seat gave them, Cas sat up, feeling the cold window pane against his skin. But he was with Dean, and Dean made everywhere just a tiny bit better.

…

Cas arrived back at his room about an hour later, still buzzing from his experience. Sam was sitting on his bed with his laptop out on his knees and about a dozen textbooks open around him. He glanced up at Cas as he entered the room.

"Hey," He said.

"Hey," Cas sat down on the edge of his bed. "I thought you were going to be with Jess tonight,"

Sam sighed. "I was, then we got this huge assignment. Figured I couldn't leave it till last minute like the last one," He sighed and folded his arms. "So, did you and Dean fix your issues."

The thought of Dean made Cas go red. Sam raised an eyebrow.

"I take it you're on better terms now?" He asked.

Cas didn't say a word.

Sam jumped up and pointed at Cas. "I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT WOULD HAPPEN!"

Cas was taken aback, blinking up at Sam. "What?"

Sam sat back down again and grinned stupidly. "Like I haven't been planning this for weeks."

Cas' mouth dropped open. "You've been planning this?"

"Yeah," Sam laughed. "Jesus Christ! I mean, you did hook up, didn't you?"

"Well," Cas looked at his feet. "Yeah…"

Sam hollered and stood up again, pumping his fists into the air. "I AM A GOD! I AM AMAZING! I AM ELLEN DEGENERES!"

"Woah, slow down there Ellen," Cas said. "You set us up?"

"Yeah," Sam said. "Well I had to; it was obvious you and Dean had feelings for each other. So I had to do something."

Cas simply gaped.

"Don't rush to say thank you or anything," Sam said. "But be warned." He pointed a finger at Cas and lowered his gaze into something quite frightful. "You hurt my brother, I will make the rest of your college life something you will want to bleach out of your memory. You hear that?"

Cas nodded, wide eyed. Sam grinned and sat down practically bouncing up and down. Cas leaned back and ran his fingers through his hair. "You're alright with it?"

"As long as you don't tell me the nasty stuff and use protection," Sam shrugged. "What's there to be upset with?"

"I don't know, he's your brother, it might make things between us awkward," Cas said.

Sam sighed. "Cas, things between us are already awkward since you can't hold down a conversation for too long without getting flustered or embarrassed. Or you don't understand my amazing references to cult movies."

Cas considered this and then nodded. "Fair point."

There was a knock at the door and Dean entered, holding Cas' trench coat. "Hey," He said. "Cas, you left your overcoat in my car,"

"It's okay, you can call it a trench coat," Cas stood up and smiled. Sam bounced up and down again as if he was an excited puppy and Dean frowned with him.

"What's up with you Sammy?" He asked.

Sam grinned and glanced between Cas and Dean.

Dean frowned. "Did you tell him that we…?" He motioned between himself and Cas and tilted his head. Sam's expression turned from joy to disgust in a matter of seconds and turned away.

"Okay dude, too much information," He said.

Dean gave a smile. "Actually, Cas, can I talk to you in the hall for a moment?"

Cas folded his trench coat and placed it on the bed and followed Dean out into the Hall. Dean had his hands on his hips for a moment then looked at Cas.

"Look, I maybe hurried things a little," He said. "But you have to understand, I really like you. To the point where I want to say I love you but I can't because it's too early in the relationship."

"What are you trying to say?" Cas asked.

"Maybe I scared you off," Dean sighed. "I tend to do that a lot. But I want something meaningful out of this relationship."

Cas reached over and took Dean's hand in his. "Dean, you are worrying too much." He stroked his thumb and leaned close, kissing him softly, he nudged Dean's nose playfully and smiled. "I don't think I'm going to be leaving you any time soon."

_**The End**_

_**Idk**_

_**If people want me to continue on and do more Destiel I might. But I'm so bad at writing relationship stuff. **_


End file.
